The Past Isn't Just The Past
by picnic7082
Summary: What if Haymitch's reason for drinking wasn't just because of seeing all his friends killed?


I wake with a start, tangled in an ugly excuse of a blanket. It seemed so real: the running, the screaming, the pain and _her_. I still feel the hurt of her absence just as much as I did the day she died. Although she was taken from this world in one of the cruelest manners possible, I hope she is peaceful and happy where she is. Every night I relive all of the happy and horrible memories. The pain of her passing tears at my insides when I'm sober. I often relive her terribly unfair and horrible death in my slumber, but the worst thing is, I relive them in crystal clear quality.

It was Summer, The Reaping was a mere 3 days away and I was living a perfect life. I was 16.I had a full head of jet black hair, I had brilliant grade, I was liked and known amongst District 12 and I was in love. her name was Tayla Bennett. She was a year younger than I and was the most beautiful young woman in 12.

She had long brown hair that was layered to perfection, deep brown eyes and creamy smooth skin with rosy cheeks. I feel for her the same moment I saw her and amazingly enough , so did she. It was the very same 3 days before the Districts' children were forced to meet their inevitable demise that I confessed my love to her, and she confessed hers. The next three days were spent between Tayla and I spending as much time as possible together just incase either of us were chosen in the reaping

The time went so fast because the next thing we knew, we were being prepared for The Reaping. As we stood there in the town square hand in hand, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of fear of myself and Tayla. And that fear was proven to entirely rational, for when the name of the female was called, it was none other than the girl standing next to me and was holding my hand. My Tayla.

Tayla went as still as a deer in the headlights of a truck. I denied the urge to pick her up and run as far as possible, but my own fear kept me rooted on the spot. And so I watched my love walk to her death. The funny thing is, I thought that would be the worst pain imaginable, that was until my name was called out .It was that exact moment I realised my worst nightmare was beginning.

Nothing my mentor told me could have prepared me for what The Hunger games entailed. At one point during the Games, I decided Tayla and I should head up North of the Arena. Little did I know at the time, that we were heading straight into a trap placed by the remaining 3 contestants. Tayla began to tire from walking through so I told her to jump of my back. She complied and I began walking stealthily through the forest. That was when the first arrow took flight. It glanced off of my belt and flew into a tree. I then picked up my pace. I was determined to get out of there or at very least get Tayla out. another arrow flew swiftly through the air and went into Tayla's back. This was then followed by two more arrows, but I kept moving to a safe place. We entered a cave and I set her down on her side. She was bleeding out and I knew we only had moments left so I proceeded to tell her how much I loved her; she managed to gargle the words back to me, but not without difficulty. I stayed with her body for a full day and swore vengeance on her murderer. After I killed every last one of those sad excuses for humans I was transported to the Capitol building and I was fixed up for my interviews. Little did they know that I was already gone, I was completely numb. I could hear, I just couldn't move or talk. It was almost asthough I had lost my will to move. I recovered and received a beating, but I could move and talk at very least. I was majorly depressed. I also had just come of age, and my brother suggested I try alcohol, that wasn't the best of ideas.

So here I am. Drinking pure Johnny Walker and reminiscing about the past. Pretty depressing right? I try my best at quitting this addiction, but it's the only thing that numbs the loss I feel. If I could stop drinking I could have a life, a family. Yeah. that's ever going to happen.

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><p><strong>A.N<strong>

**So, what did you think? my first Fan fiction. like?**

**I wrote it for an english essay**

**Hit that review button . you know you want to ;)**

**BTW I am looking for a BETA. How do you do that?**


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